May 2013
263 posts
keepcalm-andpartyyon:
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
A question mark walks into a bar?
Two quotation marks “Walk into” a bar.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.
The bar was walked into by a passive voice.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
rodneykong:
ghostgif:
98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party
yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
GRANDMA
IT'S ME
ANASTASIA
Bowling Ball →
justice-turtle:
Xkcd, everybody. *jazzhands*
Untitled: poodlepants: I’ve been harping on this... →
poodlepants:
I’ve been harping on this subject a lot lately, but I feel like somebody has to. The fact that Khan has been changed to a white man is quietly being accepted, and the performance lauded. I’ve seen people trying to say JJ did a good thing by taking color out of the equation, and…
dicksplit:
first day of kindergarten
7 tags
notsufferingfrominsanity:
daddyfuckedme:
wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles
at first, I thought, jesus christ what are you on?? but then I realized, yeah, that’d be pretty cool.
(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
